There are friends and there are friends. I have many friends but can count on one hand the ones who are closest to my heart. You know, the girlfriend you haven’t gotten around to calling for months who, when she picks up the phone, it’s like your last conversation was five minutes ago. You laugh at the same jokes and you have certain code words that no one else would get. You know she doesn’t like scallions in her salad and she’s ticklish on her knees. She knows the name of your first crush and the boy that made you cry in eighth grade. You have only to say the words “giant fork and spoon,” for her to double over in laughter at the memory of the double date in high school that ended in your boyfriend’s dorm room, where he had a giant wooden souvenir fork and spoon set from Hawaii displayed on the wall. (Funnily enough, I was recently in touch with the boyfriend in question after many years, and he didn’t recall this famous touchstone!)
I’ve been friends with Kay since we were fourteen. We met our sophomore year at Woodside High. This was the age before wireless, but we still managed to gab constantly, between classes and over the phone. (Before there were cell phones there were long extension cords that stretched to your room). We giggled a lot. We used made-up words so we wouldn’t get in trouble if our parents happened to be listening in on our conversations, words we still use to this day–our own private language (husbands had to get on board or get out). We double-dated throughout high school. After graduation we even roomed together in college. Kay was the ideal roommate; I was not.
Flash forward a few decades. We’re both older, with kids and a grandchild in her case, and we live on opposite coasts but the love we have for each other has only grown. Recently I was reminded of the important place she has in my life. Two weeks ago, she had open-heart surgery and there were complications. Thankfully she’s since turned the corner for the better, but it seemed like it was touch and go for a while there. Her husband Phil has been sending regular updates and he just emailed me to let me know she’s off the feeding tube and allowed to eat ice chips. It may not seem like a big deal, but the sound you hear is me cheering.
Yes, there are friends and then there are those who’d leave a hole in the fabric of your life if you were to lose them. All the more reason to cherish one another while we’re still on Earth. I feel blessed to have good news about my friend Kay. Soon we’ll be emailing or chatting about “spiral chistes” and “Frying Pan Head” (don’t ask!) In fact in my last email, which her husband read aloud to her, I mentioned that her hospital room could probably use some brightening up in terms of decor. A giant fork and spoon would look just nifty on the wall.
