The 5 Things I Learned During the Pandemic

I’m not much of one for New Year’s resolutions. Instead, at the start of every new year, I prefer to reflect on what I took away from the past year. Did I learn anything from it? Might it affect the choices I make in the future? How can I use it to become a better person?

2020 was a year unlike any other year in my lifetime. It was a year of a global crisis that seemed at times an eerie echo of the fictional pandemic in Stephen King’s postapocalyptic novel “The Stand” that wipes out the majority of the world’s population. It was a year of social and political upheaval in our country. It was a year that showed us both the good and evil of which man is capable. What did I take away from it? Mainly, it brought home the life lessons I learned as a child.

Be kind to your neighbors. In hard times, civility and courtesy matter more than ever. A smile, a kind word or gesture—even something as small as saying “Good job” or letting someone else go ahead of you in line at the grocery store—can make all the difference to someone who’s suffering or having a bad day. The other day while I was out walking, I tripped and fell. A fellow pedestrian helped me to my feet. I will never forget the genuine concern in his eyes when he asked me, “Are you okay?” We were both wearing face masks, but for obvious reasons we weren’t social-distancing, yet he seemed concerned only for my welfare. Whoever that man is, I want to say to him, “Thank you. I was bleeding under my mask but I would have been crying as well if not for your kindness.”

Agree to disagree. Our country’s current political climate is more polarized than ever before in my lifetime. These days I’m occasionally in situations where I’m talking with someone whose political views I don’t share. But while I might not agree with them, I respect everyone’s right to their own opinions. Our country would be a lot better off if everyone would just agree to disagree, in my opinion. Rather than trying to convert someone else to your beliefs, try changing the subject. A compliment or a polite inquiry such as “You look lovely in that dress” or “How’s the job search going?” usually gets a conversation that’s veered off course back on track in my experience.

Books matter. Yes I know, I write books so I’m biased. But long before I became a published author I was an avid reader. Reading has always been my Great Escape. During the dark times in my life, I’ve always had reading as my escape hatch. When I was a young mom living in British Columbia far from my family and friends in the U.S., I became severely depressed for the first and only time in my life. I didn’t have the money to go on trips. My library card became the gateway to the fictional worlds to which I escaped. This past year, I don’t know where I would have been without books, both to read and write: A lot more stressed about what was going on in the world for sure!

Simple pleasures are the best. During the lockdown of 2020, my husband and I sheltered in place together, with both of us working from home. We got back to basics: going on long walks together, eating in, spending our evenings at home. I stopped carrying a purse and, lo and behold, the chronic crink in my neck went away. I discovered I didn’t miss going out to restaurants, stores, or theatres. I did more cooking and got back to baking bread, something I’d stopped doing when I moved to New York City where there’s a bakery on every block. Now I’m regularly reminded by the smell of bread baking in the oven of the days when I’d come home from school to find my mom making bread.

We’re all in this together. I grew up in an all-white suburb in California and went to an all-white schools before I went away to college during the sixties. The only Black person in my high school class was an exchange student from Ethiopia. I was saved from a narrow world view, I believe, by my innate curiosity about other cultures and my travels in life that have taken me to some far-flung places. Here’s what I learned: Regardless of our religion, culture, or the color of our skin, we humans all want the same things: to be loved, to be happy, to prosper. If nothing else this global pandemic has reminded us that we’re all in this together. The world is our backyard and everyone in it our neighbor.

I’ll leave you with this final thought. Whatever 2021 brings—good, bad, or ugly—if we all hold hands while we cross the street we’ll have a better chance of making it safely to the other side.