I Hear You

Five years ago I lost 50% of my hearing due to a sudden event. It was traumatic and life-altering. I’m a glass three-quarters full kind of person, so it takes a whole heap of misery for me to feel hopeless. But my sudden hearing loss knocked me flat. There were days I couldn’t find a reason for living.

In the blink of an eye, I had gone from normal hearing to joining the ranks of the hearing-impaired. Now I understand my mom’s frustration when she was losing her hearing due to old age! I have new sympathy for those who can’t always understand what someone else is saying. You can learn a lot about other people simply by asking them to repeat themselves. Some people become irritated at the request–they are not friend material. Some people react with patience and kindness. The beauty of it is that you never know where you might find the heroes and the zeros. I’ve encountered extraordinary kind teleoperators. I’ve also encountered people in the service industry and medical personnel whose job it is to help others who all but roll their eyes when asked to repeat themselves. Luckily, my husband is not only patient with me but the timbre and enunciation of his TV-news reporter voice makes it easy to hear everything he says when he talks.

Perhaps the biggest change I experienced was in listening to music. I love music and am a classical music fan. It broke my heart the first time I attended a chamber music concert and couldn’t hear the music the way I used to. My hearing loss affected the upper registers of my hearing, so instruments like violins didn’t sound the same when they were played. I cried listening to a Mozart violin concerto, and not because I was moved by the music as in the past.

But if there’s one thing life teaches you it’s that there’s a silver lining to almost every cloud. The things we lose in life, whether it’s a bodily function or a dear friend, can be reminders to appreciate what we do have, or what we stand to gain.

The blessings I count as a result of my hearing loss:

Music, which might not sound the same but which I appreciate more than ever before.

Knowing who I can trust. The people you want in your lifeboat are the people who are kind to others above all else.

A deeper understanding of the hardships faced by others with disabilities has made me a better person and a better writer.

A greater appreciation of the marvels of technology. I rediscovered the wonders of science when I was fitted for a cutting-edge technology hearing aid. Ear lens provides a wider spectrum of sound than any other hearing aid on the market.

I recently attended a chamber music concert. As I sat listening to the music, of Dvorak Quintet, I concentrated not on the violinists but on the cellist. The rich honeyed tones of the lower registers that poured from his instrument were the same as I had known when I had normal hearing. I had tears in my eyes. Tears of joy this time.