I confess the holidays are a mixed bag for me. I have fond memories of Christmas growing up, me and my five siblings decorating the tree and counting down the days on our Advent calender. A stocking full of Hershey’s kisses, maple candy soldiers and tangerines and the big present from Santa, the object of breathless anticipation. I remember vividly hearing the crinkling of wrapping paper from my bed on Christmas Eve, where I lay awake, pretending the sounds were being made by Santa and not my parents.
When my own kids were little I had the enjoyment of their excitement. They often tell me their best childhood memories are of Christmas, in particular helping make the gingerbread people we would then decorate and hang on the tree. I loved the ornaments they made in school, which are still in the family, currently adorning my son Michael’s Christmas tree.
Then, in the years since my kids moved out of the house, the joy I used to take in the holidays slowly dribbled away. Christmas became nothing but a round of chores. I felt guilty if I didn’t send out cards, then there was the ghastly business of standing in line at the post office to mail gifts. Shopping was a nightmare. I dreaded my husband’s office parties. By the time it was over, II felt both physically and financially drained.
A few years ago, I realized it was time for a change. I stopped sending cards by snail mail, choosing to do e-cards instead. The relatives and I all agreed it was time to end the tyranny of exchanging gifts, so that’s been all but eliminated. Now it’s just my husband and children, I enjoy picking out gifts. Christmas tips to the hardworking people in our apartment I don’t mind, either – they earned it and it’s nice to be able to show our appreciation. These days I take pleasure in simple things: holiday music, the watching of “White Christmas” or “It’s a Wonderful Life” for the zillionth time, the sights and smells of Christmas on the streets of New York – I’ll cross the street to walk down a sidewalk where there’s cut trees for sale, just for the evergreen scent–making sweet treats when the spirit moves me. Sandy and I also love attending the annual Christmas concert at the New York Yacht Club, hosted by our friend, concert violinist Mira Wang. As we sit listening to chamber music in that magnificent space under a story-high Christmas tree twinkling with lights, drinking in the sounds of Mozart and Schubert and the like, all is right with the world.
